to stand.....

we've had the stander for less than a week, and needless to say he loves it.  He loves to be at eye level with his sissy.  He thinks he is a big shot, because well, he is a big shot.  Right now he can stand comfortably for about 30 minutes at a time in there with no complaints at all.... and thanks to a very handy daddy, he has a custom table that he will be able to wheel right up to and play with all of his favorites!  Now mama just has to paint it fun and crazy to match the slimer green stander!  Thank you so much for all of your hard work Dana!  Now it's time to hit the mall with all the mall walkers and get him to propel it on his own so we can get this baby approved! yay for small victories!

back to party planning!  I have so many cute pictures to post :) happy day to you all

One day....

This right here will forever be my February song. Meant to be uploaded to the blog on the 1st, yet here we are on the 10th..... details, details. This was a huge part of the Olympics last winter so it was always on the radio- it was always the song that I hoped for on the short car ride from the RMH to Childrens and I must admit that E and I jam out to it at least once a day. And everyday I cry with a smile on my face because, well it's that kind of song to me. Clearly, I'm letting you all in on the small little fact that I am a HUGE cry baby. What can I say- it's what I do.... not because I'm sad, but it's like laughing.... I do it once a day.

The passed weekend was grand- we went to the snowflake festival with some of our favorite people...some feel good people, and although it was maybe a bit busy, I think the kiddos had a great time building their bird houses (or in Caidence's case a dino house).   Thanks for hanging with us Haglund family :)

By the end of it, Easton could barely keep those little peepers open, but man these pics are stinking adorable!

ahh February.....

This is it...this is the month, just one year ago, that our very own little rockstar entered our world.  I have been on an emotional roller coaster for the passed few weeks, thinking.... thinking of all of the wonderfulness that this passed year has blessed us with.  I'm not going to lie that I have also been haunted by what he has been through.  Now this post is not a "poor him" post, it's not a "poor us" post, because if you know anything about me at all, it is that nothing. NOTHING. in our lives is worthy of a "poor anybody".  We have it good.  But I think everything that has gone on in the last 12 months is all of a sudden rushing in to the fore front of my mind, and it's all a bit overwhelming.  Good and bad..... I can't even say bad, trying is maybe the better word for it- because we have had trying times.  Trying times that it would be so easy to slip into all of the negativity, all of his hardships- and just let that overtake every ounce of our being- but here at the Rapp household- that's just not how we roll. 

It started a few weeks back when I was emailing another mama, who has been with her sweet little one in the NICU since August.  That's right. August of 2010.  I was trying so desperately to explain how different life was once you were out of that place.... and in your own home, with your baby.  With no rounds... no Dr's referring to your baby as "baby Rapp", no tubes, no beeping monitors, no other babies that even though you don't really know their story, they are in the same room as your baby, and a part of your heart is at their bedside as well as your own kiddo's.  No nurses poking and prodding your baby for a vein that just has nothing left to give.  There is no tape covering your sweets face, no head wraps, no IV boards taking up every little inch of their arms or little feet.  None of that is at home.  It is you and your baby... your rocking chair, your walls surrounding you, your comfort, your safe haven.  Your baby is home.  As I was  typing this email the tears started to fall.  Tears that I guess I didn't know I had in there to fall.  I hadn't thought about the nicu in what seems to be ages..... not like that.

Now I don't want to paint it this dim shade of gray on his nicu stay, because we had many, many bright spots.  We had amazing nurses, and Dr's surrounding us.  Amazing family and friends at home supporting us in every way imaginable...... but just looking back at just Easton, just picturing Easton Kent in his bed- it gets a little overwhelming.  But then I think.... He is a warrior.  That little boy, our little boy is extraordinary.  and boy oh boy let me tell you how good it feels to be home.  I know that we have been home for months now, but looking back makes these walls surrounding us seem that much sweeter- because after all it's not so much what the walls look like, it's the feeling that you feel when they are surrounding you.  I will be first to admit that I sometimes lose sight of this..... but really what else could matter- our kiddos are home, they are happy, they are loved, they are healthy, and everyday they do something that makes my heart skip a beat because it was that amazing.  every single day this happens to me.  So no matter how "haunting" (and I say this loosely) those days may have been, they are gone, but we are here now and that is all that matters.  This is all that matters.  Our little boy is about to be one. And he is crawling. 4 point crawling. And trying to pull up. And working on standing.  And doing things that babies do.  And has the biggest brown googly eyes for his mama..... What else could matter? nothing.  Happy Birthday month my love.

Many more posts to follow- we have many, many great days ahead of us in the next few weeks- and this mama has many, many crazy mama emotions a-flowing right now. 

because we could all use a little.....

.sunshine.

and Caidence supplied it for us.... in our laundry room on our chalkboard painted door.  it has been a long, cold, don't want to leave my house kind of month...heck winter!  I'm not one who typically complains about the weather because well, it is what it is, but I am ready to get the kiddos out there in the snow to play, and it's just been too cold!  .....enough about the weather for goodness sakes.

This week, it would appear as though things are on the up and up around here.  Maybe it's my eternal optimism, or maybe it's the fact that it's only Monday- but things are looking and feeling good again :)  Last week we got "the letter" denying E his stander so I was pretty much a hot mess for Thursday and Friday, and I feel bad because I blasted E's OT with a bunch of nastiness first thing Friday morning.  *Please note I was not yelling at her, she is one of my best friends from when we were little, and by little I mean we were in diapers little* but I spent much of his session mouthing cuss words about the system and how the whole thing is, ahem excuse me, but ef'd up, and how this little boy, our little boy, who is ready to stand has to wait for paperwork.  I do just need to quote one line from our letter.... just because I guess I am still feeling a little hot under the collar about it.  Out of the eight reasons why this one really made me scream the most:

6. Most children Easton's age require close supervision and intermittent physical assistance for various activities.  Why does he need to be able to "stand, play and move about his environment independently without another person's assistance"?

um....seriously.  Easton will be one....1...12 months old in just 30 days.  Now I am well aware that not all kids are walking at this point, but what I am aware of is that my son is trying his hardest to pull up on things to stand, but his little knees and ankles are not yet strong enough.  He wants to do it, he is ready to do it, he just needs that little extra help, the help that a stander would give him.  Don't get me wrong, I sit there and help him until my arms feel like they may fall off, that is how much he loves it.  But so we sit and wait for the paperwork... for his PT to write another letter answering ridiculous questions like #6 listed on our denial...and by we sit, I mean he sits and waits, literally.

mmkay well on that note, I'm done with that topic because clearly I'm still very pissed off about it.  Yes, pissed.  And when I said I mouthed the cuss words that may not have been all that accurate either, I am giving myself way too much credit because I'm pretty sure some were out loud.  my apologies, this isn't really how I roll, however I feel like I am failing our son, and well that will make a mama lose her cool.

Anyways onto our last couple of days:

 

Easton has been going bananas for big people food, so we tried our hand at some noodles mixed with some yummy baby food, and well he thought it was pretty neat-o, with a side of peek a boo.  I just keep thinking if only those noodles on his chin spelled something!

Fancy pants aka punky brewster has entered a world all her own..... with pipe cleaner crowns that daddy made her, and rollerblades that are much too big for her but she works them out.  She looks a little like a mess, but if you'd ask her she was being Olivia, the Ice princess, because that is what she is in a trance watching on the tube. 

and we ended  our Monday with a delicious session of  cupcake baking and this is what we came up with:

and because each sprinkle was hand selected made these cupcakes that much sweeter.

Would she....?

Well, Caidence had her first day of school this week, Tuesday to be exact, and along with happiness came much unnecessary anxiety of how things would go.

My Monday night had a lot of this going on:
Would she cry when I left, even though we had been talking about exactly what would happen when we got there and why, and when I would come back.  I just didn't know.  Would she easily become overwhelmed by all of the other children, would she play, would she interact, would she play but really want to cry, would she..... would she.... would she....????? You get the picture.  Would she maybe just go play like all of the other little kids and wish that her mama wasn't such a crazy lady? Yup.  As I finally drifted off to sleep, I knew that there was a little excitement under all that worry for the next morning to come.It was my baby girls first day of school, and I had big, FUN,exciting plans for the morning!  It was going to be such an great morning with pancakes, and a tubbie time with tons of bubbles and such.

And then we woke up. 

This is when I realized that maybe today wasn't going to be the picture perfect, fun filled day that I had thought up for the two of us on our new adventure. 

clearly not too impressed with the pancakes

I thought about omitting the tub to make things easier, then I looked at this. 

but somehow we made it through.... and we got to this:

 

 clean and cute.... but not quite the first day of school picture I was hoping for. 

So we tried again and got this:

 hmmm.... not quite the look either.  (it's okay to giggle, I am)

 Don't hold the excitement back Nae

 in the school parking lot

 thank you Dino Dan for her new found interest in dinosaurs.

and she was finally genuinely excited.

So the morning didn't go quite as planned, but we did it.  We made it to the school and the rest was easy.  She didn't get upset when I left.  She played well with everyone.  I enjoyed the parent time that we had upstairs...minus the occasional panic I felt not knowing if she was having fun.  But I knew they would've come up and grabbed me if she was upset.  Still, I so desperately wanted there to be a hole in the floor so I could see how she was doing downstairs.  We went down to join the kiddos and read stories and sing songs, and although she looked a little unsure of it, and like she was ready to pack it up.... we danced the dance, and played the game, and she ran up to Mrs. Byrne gave her a hug and said her "dye, dye" and "thank you's" so I was able to leave there knowing that it was all okay.

The first day of school was a success!



3 T's and a "daddy"

Mostly just some cute pictures this post.... we've been doing a whole lot of nothing lately.  Lots of playing and lots of big ideas coming from this girl.  I don't know if it's the new year, or if I'm feeling feisty because I may be getting a bit more sleep than normal, maybe it's that the one and only Nora Mack will be here in just a few short weeks..... I don't know what it is but man, I like it!

on to the first T: Teasing 101.  Easton has it down.

"oh I'm sorry, were you sleeping sissy"

 "hmm, I'll take that pink thing in your mouth that you were supposed to leave for Santa's baby elves"

 a growl comes from the cute girl with the pink blankie

 as she gives the rollover

 back to square one.

he is the dickens.

 "but mom, I'm on all fours"

and onto the next T: TOUCHDOWN!!

 and again

 and again, because his face is killing me

The third T: Trains, because we can build a train track like nobodys business

and finally...a "daddy"

+

 =

a purple "daddy" on our living room carpet.

And to be honest....he's still there, I don't have the heart to shampoo him up.

Off to snuggle miss muffet to sleep....big day tomorrow.  First day of school!

Back in the saddle

Oh it's been what seems to be forever, and oh how I've missed this, and as sad as it is.... this is going to be a short post (with many  more to follow). 

To begin with, I hope that everyone had an amazing holiday, filled with magic and happiness!  Ours was pretty wonderful, and beautiful, and crazy and busy and worth every single minute of sleep that we missed out on!  post coming soon!

There are so many wonderful little delights going on in our world right now, that I just had to get on here and share them all with you!  For starters, baby boy is crawling!  It's more of an army crawl right now, but he gets up on all fours and rocks it out like no body's business.  He is really starting to make more passes while up on all fours and it's all starting to come together for scooter.  And while he's up on all fours he gives his sissy this little "you know what" eating grin, and I just think to myself, 'I am not entirely certain we are ready for what he is about to unleash on us'.  But bring it on bub!

In other E news..... we went to Shriners yesterday and had one of the most amazing Dr's apts to date.  I walked out of there with my head held high thinking "hell yea...that was our baby they were just talking about".  Easy E showed off as he always does, and schmoozed like the best of them.... and then he got down and dirty and showed them his new moves.  He was all over the exam table, army crawling, up on all fours, from all fours to sitting, and then Dr. Schrantz started to rough house him a little bit to see what he was really made of, and he sure showed him.  I wish Cody would've been there to see it all.  It was sweet, as Dr. Schrantz gave E a smile. A real, genuine, different kind of smile..... it was more than just a "he's so cute smile"... it was a "good job kid, kind of smile" and I'm not going to lie, it made me feel like the proudest mama in the world.  And then the play time got down to business, and he started talking about our next plan of action and I quote....

"Let's have Janet do an hour session with him in 3 months so we can discuss what bracing he will need for.....(wait for it)...... WALKING.....(did he really just say?! oh focus mary...focus!)  He's a strong little guy, and very bright and it won't be long before he starts to figure this all out"

So in my head I'm freaking...beaming.... ready to bust out in song, and maybe even throw in a few jazz hands.  I was just ready to scream.  I'm doing the math, wait 3 months... he will only be 13.5 months old!?! Really? could walking even be a possibility?   Now I do feel like I have to throw this disclaimer out, even though they are talking about walking, does not mean he will be ready to, but it makes me feel so good that they are getting him ready, and making the preparations for when he is ready so that he won't have to sit and wait for these things to happen.  Phew, I am one proud mama! (and one bummed mama that I have no pictures to document this Dr's apt, because ugh, it was an oh so sweet one) 

And not only is Easton doing big things but Caidence is doing some pretty fancy stuff too!  Today we went to her new school to tour the classroom and meet the director of the program.  Yup, baby girl is going to preschool (um, only one day a week, and I will be in the same building as her the whole time.....baby steps, baby steps).  I asked her this morning if she wanted to go to her new school, and she was hesitant, but then I just had to throw in the "like Garrett, Nolan, and Kole" and I got the "YEA" that I was looking for.  Then I hear this "Nae Nae ride the bus", I was so bummed to tell her no, and then she asked "the baby bus", again "no, just in mom moms car"  what a bummer.  All this hype about school, and she doesn't even get to ride a bus, but she was excited none the less.  So off we went, and she made herself right at home.  After checking out the two-by-two room, we went into the 3,4,5 room where she walked right over to the aquariums.  Mrs. Byrne let her feed the fish and the frogs, and then she went to to last tank..... and there it was.  Heave.  A tarantula.  I am literally ready to run out of the room screaming, leaving both of my kiddos to fend for themselves against this caged animal, but I played it cool for the sake of the wee ones.  "look Nae, just like Charlotte" and now I am expecting her to grab onto my leg and start freaking her freak, just like I wanted to do hers, but no she gets closer and points and says "Charlotte!!" all happy and so not afraid, as I am left scratching my head because this is the girl that would shrill over daddy long legs and ants.  She used to make Grace pick them off of the slide for her, and she is looking at this HUGE, gross, hairy eight legged thing as if its a bunny rabbit. Heave again.  Needless to say, I am relieved that we won't be in that room until the fall so I can try to pull it together by then. Heave yet again.  But needless to say I have no pics to document this fun event either because, well..... when your flying solo with the kiddos sometimes 2 hands is just not enough.  i will do better. i must do better.)

Well, I guess this post is kinda lengthy after all.  I will spend much of January playing catch up on the last few months because I really dropped the ball on this one, but after the laptop took the big one, there just wasn't much of a chance for blogging....ah well.  But now we are back up and running, and I will go back through old pictures, and my day planner to get you all caught back up and E's firsts (and yes, that is what we have resorted to....Easton's baby book is my planner, so not only will he be able to look back at all of his milestones, but he will also know Dr's apts for everyone in the family, when bills were due, a great Iced Tea recipe and all of the other randomness that was jotted down in 2010.... what every baby book should consist of.  The poor kid!)

Well, I am sure I will not be back on until 2011, so Happy New Year my friends!